Happiness

I am finally rolling off my current job in TWO weeks, and couldn't be more excited. The change has sparked a renewed joy in other areas of my life, so I figured documenting a happy list would be most appropriate to remember this monumental occasion:

• The joy of hanging out with my boyfriend's friends from college, and bonding over beer pong and Bud Light.
• Drinking in the sunshine of Mountain View while the fog occupies SF.
• Praying and wishing happy thoughts for my baby sister (moving to Louisiana) every night. So proud of her!
• Visiting SF landmarks when we have visitors in town.
• Re-watching the last episode of Orange is the New Black and getting crazy pumped for the new season.
• Chatting with my grandma over the phone and connecting with one of my favorite people on this planet.

Life can be tough, considering the obstacles I'm facing are things I never thought I'd even make an acquaintance with. But I am filled with hope, buoyed by a supportive boyfriend and sisters and friends that make me believe life can be good and better. I'll continue to focus on these "happies."

Sisters First, Friends Forver

This weekend was so fulfilling, so bittersweet and so jam-packed with emotion that I thought my chest would explode. I got to celebrate my younger sister's graduation from college and enjoy my last weekend with her before she moves to Louisiana, the culmination of four years of hard work and a heart that never gave up.

I went to a big, public college, and let's just say graduation was very different. At her small, private school, everyone could host their graduation parties at the school after the ceremony. It was so fun, and we spent the afternoon toasting to the grad in the glorious, northern California sunshine. We cried and prayed and told stories, and it was a treat to see family I don't see often enough.

The icing on the cake after a long day in the sun? Spending the night with my sisters and boyfriend in her dorm! So silly, so sweet, and a memory I will treasure until we are reunited. I'm grateful for the quiet moments after the pomp and circumstance ended.

Sunday morning I woke up knowing that'd it'd only be hours until I had to say goodbye to my sister. And when that moment came, it only confirmed that my sweet sis is the smartest, bravest person I'll ever meet. I've never been more proud of her, and know that her future students will be so lucky to have such an inspiring teacher. I've seen her grown into an amazing woman over these last four years, and can only imagine that the best is yet to come.

I cried the whole ride home to San Francisco, feeling like a piece of my heart was missing. Thank goodness for modern technology and cheap flights that are going to carry me to the South! Cheers to an amazing weekend and a bond that distance will never change.

Serendipity

I want to say "long story; short," but that phrase makes no sense when I proofread this. My boyfriend is on vacation this week, and I'm trying to focus on me this week. Rather than send him the usual texts or Facebook messages to him, I'm going to have the best week I can... alone. "Long story; short," I'd much rather be on vacation (obviously),  but know that our time apart is important too. Even if it's forced ;)

I lucked out this weekend and two girlfriends from high school came to SF for Bay to Breakers. Serendipitous, really. We had the best time! Drinking, eating, shenanigan-ing - it's insane how much we fit into 24 hours. I'm extremely fortunate to have the most wonderful, smart and funny girlfriends, and they always happen to text or pop into my life just when I need a friend. This forced (lack of) vacation became an amazing girls' weekend I'll always treasure.

I need to be better at embracing things I can't change and rolling with roadblocks. And if this weekend is any proof, I would have missed out on a best weekend ever had I tried to right unfortunate circumstances. I'm so sunburt, and sooooooo happy. I know I was where I was supposed to be.

Cheers to girlfriends, cheers to staycations, cheers to love.

Happiness Is...

• Succulents. Trendy or not, I love them.
• Date nights.
• Shopping for Easter presents. I'll take any occasion to give gifts.
• Going to the gym, even if it's a lame workout.
• Sunshine.
• Redecorating my room with cheapie finds from Marshall's.
• On that note, moving furniture around.
• Exclamation marks on receipts.
• Sisters. I couldn't live this life without them.
• Snapchat, my connection to my far away friends.

 

Fruit smoothie and a new friend.

Sláinte!

To health? Or something like that?

I've never tried as hard to get in tune with my body and my well-being than I am in my 25th year of life. In high school and even college, I rarely got sick. I remember having the flu my senior year of high school and making sure I still attended my A.P. classes (yeah, "leadership" was my get home and nap for an hour time). I got sick once in college and still rallied after recuperating over winter break. I'm not bragging or anything, but I simply never had to worry about the state of the physical 'me.'

After three years of intense work, little sleep and less time to devote to healthy eating and gym time, I began to "worry" about my physical self. No, I didn't sit around and wonder what was plaguing me like a hypochondriac; rather, I could simply see how my lifestyle had taken a toll. What I ate impacted my productivity. Soda gave me a boost, and then instantly led me to nap city. I started to see the lack of sleep take a toll on my skin.

I'm grateful for fantastic insurance, doctors that take "stress" seriously, and a supportive significant other. But at the end of the day, the only one that can take care of me is, well, me. Hitting the gym after a stressful day is becoming normal. Rewarding myself with coconut water or one of those expensive juices (yes, stupid but I love them) is better than a cupcake. I refocus myself whenever I find free time, even if it's a few minutes.

Moral of the story: You do you. Don't let your boss or your mother or anyone for that matter take away the most important thing in your life. Your health is irreplaceable, and no matter how unhealthy you think you are, there is hope. Message me to go to spin class with you. We may be the slowest in the class, but at least we'll be there ;)

 

I may have claimed the ridiculous amount of vitamins I bought today were for my grandma (source). #noshame

A Blessed Life

After teaching junior high and high school for 20ish years, my mom got moved to teaching first graders. She tells us stories all the time about the adorable things her kids say and do, but it was absolutely more adorable to witness in person. My sisters have been lucky enough to meet my mom's kiddos, and I finally got to stop being the third mysterious sister.

As soon as I walked into the room, I was ambushed by hugs from the 20 smiliest faces I've ever seen in my lifetime. Until I meet next year's class, I suppose ;) They were so excited for visitors, and equally excited for all the fun learning activities my mom had planned. Boy, first graders are busy boys and girls!

These kids come the poorest homes in Fresno, but I'd bet everything to try and find a smarter, happier, sweeter bunch at any other school. You'd never be able to tell the socioeconomic difference, truly, and I walked away filled with so much perspective. These kids were offering to use their change to buy me snacks after school, begged me to help them with puzzles, and told me stories of their rock star mom and dads attending college.

I've prayed for my mom's first graders every night ever since she got moved to this new school, and meeting them in person only makes my desire to protect them and help them even stronger. There is so much privilege, so much gratitude and so much hope in my heart this weekend. And bless my mom for making every single one of her students believe they can graduate college in 14 years!

Slonoma

Grateful for this guy, this sister, and this grandma that gave me such a fun weekend. We lunched, wined and chatted on a warm Saturday afternoon in Sonoma. I could have fallen asleep I felt so relaxed!

Happiness is Sunshine

Sweet, glorious sunshine, oh how I love you! Even though it doesn't snow in California, I finally feel like we are escaping winter and jumping into a warmer season. And considering I'm lucky enough to live in San Francisco and work in Mountain View, I can dress for 80 degree temperatures (and you betcha, I will).

Dinner outside, leaving my puffy jacket at home, flip flop weather is my kind of love. Cheers to spring!

A Lifesaver

I've felt stuck, angry and all amounts of frustrated for the last three years, if not more. The reasons aren't important, and will slowly be dissected and understood as time continues and open communication between various parties finally happen. Life hasn't developed into the dream I had imagined, but maybe this is where I'm "supposed" to be. Who knows, right?

Even though there is a lot that I'm still working on, there's one things that's helped end the late night cry sessions with my boyfriend and the continuous whining to my mother - the gym. It's so cliche, but after a month and a half of a serious, sudden relationship with sweat and sore muscles, I've been able to manage my anger and sadness so much better.

Two spin classes a week, Soul Cycle (yes, it's as amazing and exhausting as everyone claims) and a lot of reading on the Stair Master have become routine. Tonight, as I angrily bang on these keys, I'm excited to wake up at 5 am to make sure I have time to go to the gym before work tomorrow.

I'm ready to be better, physically, mentally, and emotionally this year. Thank you free weights and crazy spin class songs for helping to make this happen!

Results You Want

What's that saying? Two steps forward, one step back? Well, the last few years have felt like two steps forward, two steps back... maybe even three. Jumping back on this blog, I'm looking forward to the results of some recent, positive changes, and hoping to share what I've learned. Growing up and learning about yourself is a continually challenging, painful process, but the potential for joy and contentment is boundless.

In the meantime, reading and the gym totally go hand in hand, am I right?

Slow Down

In college, my motto was work hard, play hard. Between an internship, a job, sorority fun, and oh yeah, school, sleep was always the last on my priority list.

These days, it's work, work and more work. I can't recover like I did three years ago, and my bones ache when I walk home at night from work. I've been tempted to nap at the bus stop. Needless to say, I was so thankful for a three-day weekend where vegging out was the top priority.

A movie, a Dexter marathon, and delicious food and drinks were on the agenda this weekend. College Bethy might chastise current Bethy for not living up every second of the non-computer time, but I'd gladly take it if it meant lazily enjoying and sleeping away every second this weekend. Thankful for a little refresh.

 

Weekend treat. 

I Believe

One of my biggest faults is being too type A for my own good. I can't count the number of arguments I've gotten into with my parents, siblings and significant other because a situation or event didn't work out as perfectly as I expected. This whole learning to let go thing is something I am continually working on, and managing these stressed out, controlling feelings is a big step in helping and healing current relationships with my dearests.

Confession: over. Where is this post going? My boyfriend and I had tickets to see Book of Mormon this weekend. We've been looking forward to this magical Saturday for months. We were told that we had tickets to a "VIP lounge" at 11am, and arrived at 12ish, only to be told that doors didn't open until 1:15. It was cold, rainy and I was sooooo looking forward to a snack and a cocktail. This was the perfect opportunity to freak out at a lack of unwarranted perfection.

I'm proud to say that I fought those feelings and made an equally good, if not better, memory with my boyfriend. We checked out a fancy hotel. We grabbed a drink at a semi-sketchy diner. We managed the hour of free time wonderfully. And absolutely nothing was lost when we finally went into the Orpheum - it was just as beautiful and theatre-y as I expected.

Badgley Mischka's and a pint of beer? Imperfect perfection.

PS: I Believe (a song from the show) has been stuck in my head for two days straight now :)

A New Year, A New Start

2013 was quite the year. A year of struggle, a year of stress, a year of physical pain and a year that I felt sucked all the nice out of me. It wasn't my favorite year, and I've had to dig deep to find the redeeming moments and sunshine-y bright spots. Maybe if I sit with 2013 a little longer, I'll be able to produce one of those splashy "best moments" of 2013 posts. Maybe. But for now, I'm trying to take control of the pieces that have fallen out of my control, build myself into a stronger being that can withstand the harsh, current climate and make healthy the relationships I hold dear.

Cheers to 2014!

From a night that all I did was dance with my family and eat. And didn't give a darn about anything else.